Archive for April, 2009

A Broke Ass Tale: When Rude Hipster Homeless Zombies Attack

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Ok, so maybe I wasn’t actually attacked. And maybe this is an incredibly short story, but that doesn’t mean it does not need to be told. I’m walking home yesterday, in my 37th block out of 40 and some change, in the sweaty home stretch, when I hear an average call of “Miss, can you spare any change.” I honestly don’t have any. For real. Like no joke. Dead ass. Maybe there was 3 to 6 pennies in the far crahvasses of my white, faux crocodile purse. But it’s fuckin’ hot and I have Pinkberry melting in a bag at my side (hence the no monies. Although, kidlets, I will tell you this, they are doing a frequent buyer card where when you buy 5 you get one for free!!! Yey, for poor Pinkberry lovers everywhere!) So I look up to at least tell the dude I don’t have any change, I figure it’s better to be honest than ignore the poor guy. Then I realize he is a member of that fair race: the undead.


He is painfully hip from the waist down: intentional but oh so nonchallantly torn stockings covered half way by beat up combat boots that would make even Daria drool.

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He has covered these hole-y pantyhose with a red and yellow tube shift of some sort. I missed whatever was covering him from about the top of his ribs to his shoulders. Whatever clothes were involved were way less important than the red paint/fake blood/demented demon sweat that was covering his clavacles. Upon further inspection, and it’s in about 1 and a half seconds, I notice that this crusty red curry that is all over him is actually weeping from his dead and ironic eyes.


And, to top off this whole breathtaking ensemble, is a cheap and chic (Moschino, you ask?) gauze veil wrapped ever-so swiftly, but surely, around his forehead and eyes. If eyes are the window to the soul then these had a view of nuclear waste dump. So then, just as I’m trying to figure out where such a creature comes from and why he’s so close to not only a church but more importantly, my house, he belches out a response. “Excuse me? Come back here…” it starts to trail of here because I probably started walking faster fearing his crusty neo-goth zombie wrath, but I’m pretty sure I heard some kind of a Steven King curse involving lots of spit and hissing.


I managed not to get run over or spontaneously combust on my way home and my Pinkberry, although slightly melty, was ever-so delicious. So mayhap he blessed me or maybe he’s just an overheated zombie hipster, looking for the perfect Rob Zombie-ette to spend the long summer nights with. Sorry my spangled majorette vest and bougie nails didn’t cut it. Oh well, keep on being creepy and your necro-Elvira will come, I’m sure of it.




Swine Is Not Divine

Monday, April 27th, 2009


Little piglets are getting sick and causing people who are in regular contact with them to get sick too. While Swine flu is definitely treatable, it can be life threatening and it is also social calendar threatening. Since you value your life and want to be able to attend all of the exciting Oxy Cottontail events coming up: wash your hands frequently, and if you recognize any of the symptoms in yourself ( fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, vomiting, body aches, etc.) get help on the double! It’s a pig farm out there. Be safe kids! (and be at Sway this evening.)

x’s and o’s


BOONDOGGLE a.k.a. craftstrip, craftlace, gimp, scooby-do or LANYARD

Monday, April 27th, 2009

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Sun’s been shining and the weather has been ohhh sooooo sweet.  Some might take this opportunity to find an empty patch of grass and play frisbee, but for those of you who are too uncoordinated or too lazy to move your bodies…. you can also laze around on some grass with some flexible pvc and start crafting. Sure lanyards remind you of camp and anti-social loners so you laugh it up if you want, but when my key chain is decorated with the finest knot work known to mankind and yours is dull and so unremarkable you don’t even know where your keys are…wellllll, let’s just say, you won’t be laughing then! pictures of a masterpiece are below. It’s the box stitch…and no, i’m not a laker’s fan…purple and yellow just compliment eachother nicely. Back to the craft. Peace and Sunscreen.

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x’s and o’s


Ninja Punnany, Proposition and LMFAO!!!

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Soooo… April’s damn showers are almost over. Thank goodness. May flowers, come on come on!!! So, here we are wrapping up this month with a bunch of really sweet events for you. But before we get to that, we just wanted to remind you about Roxy’s bangin new track with Larry Tee “Let’s Make Nasty.” It’s the first track off his new album Club Badd. Check out a sampling of the album here. And, pick up the entire thing on iTunes. It’s already playing continuously in all of heads. And it’s GLORIOUS. But back to the parties!!! Monday at Sway it’s Electric Punnany with Jasmine Solano, DJ Teenwolf an DJ Will Gates. And on Thursday Roxy will be DJng at Country Club, for more details, holler back for the guestlist!!! Then, Friday May 1st Roxy is DJing Proposition at Kion, the most smokin’ hot female party below 14th Street. And On Saturday May 2nd, The Cottontails will be hosting at Imperial for LMFAO’s special performance there. Look out for even more insane parties going down later in May, including the start of our Hey Girl Hey monthly at Plan B, plus Kalyn Cottontail’s birthay at Ella and Roxy’s 26th Greyhound birthday after hours at Imperial. It’s gonna get real, kids!! See you at the cluuuuub!!


-The Cottontails


-Thursday April 23rd-

Diamond Headz Spring/Summer Launch

Hosted By: Dwane Rich & Ruddy Rock

Music By: Roxy Cottontail

Country Club

248 West 14th St Btwn 7th and 8th




- Monday April 27 -
Roxy Cottontail + Jasmine Solano Present…

DJ Teenwolf

DJ Will Gates

DJ Jasmine Solano

Hosted By Roxy Cottontail

Street Cosignor, Dice and Renaissance Reni

Photos by Tone

Door by Baby Rox

Complimentary Svedka Vodka from 10 to 11


305 Spring Street

(Btwn Greenwich + Hudson)

10PM - 4AM

Fellas bring ladies for guaranteed entry!



- Friday May 1st -

The hottest female party below 14th street!!


DJ Roxy Cottontail

Jasmine Solano
Kion Lounge
509 E 6th St (btwn A & B)
10:30PM to 4AM

$5 cover

Supported by MadeMe


-Saturday May 2nd-

Birthday Celebration for Jerry B


Music By DJ Finesse


Live Performance By LMFAO

The Imperial NYC

17 West 19th Street (Btwn 5th and 6th Avenue)
10pm-Till the crack of Dawn


Pics from DJ Prince’s Birthday Bashment at Sway

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Although the elements tried, fruitlessly, to thwart us all on Monday, we had our brownies and ate them too! It was quite the fete with all kinds of people showing up. Cray cray indeed. Here are some select images, as shot by the fabulous Tone, for your viewing enjoyment. To check out the rest of the flicks, click here. Happy hump day, rabbitos!!

















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