You may be asking yourself “what have I done for Pebbles lately?” and you may be wasting your time with that question. Unless you owe me money or a compliment, in which case, pay the fuck up. But seriously folks, my idea with “What Have You Done for Me Lately” is just to take 5 events of the week, be they news, personal, fantastical, throwback rotation or just on some “what I’m feeling” type shit and share it with you. That’s right kidlets, this Bud’s for you. What have I, the fair Peebler, done for you lately?

I can only hope I’ve made you laugh, made you smile, made you get involved or maybe even just made you read more than 140 characters at a time. Any which way, as Mario says: Here weeee gooooo!!!

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5) The Book of Mormon wins nine Tonys.

Anyone who is alive and not holed up in a bunker somewhere could have predicted this. If you’ve ever been lulled into dreamland by the dulcet tones of Eric Cartman, ever begged Choad-a-dog to save you, ever singsongingly yelled into a drunken night, “America, Fuck Yeah!” and especially if you had the good fortune to actually see the Book of Mormon, you know this shit has it all. Magic fuck frogs, suppressed homosexuality, witty lyrics, the devil, dysentery and a whole lot of heart.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have now officially solidified their throne at the helm of high American culture. Now if you can hold your horses till January (the first available tickets on Telecharge are for January 3rd, 2012) you’re in luck, Elder!

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4) Chicks who feel the need to wear leggings under everything.

For real though. Why are you wearing leggings, keds and then shorts? Or a sundress, sandals and leggings? If you didn’t shave this morning, wear pants. You look sloppy and silly in stretch pants under some other shit when it’s over 70 degrees.

I mean, you look silly when it’s chilly in this get up, but at least we might be deceived and just think you can’t layer properly. The short of the long is, don’t do it. It’s totally a “getting gas in LA” look. Just add Uggs and voila! Instant yuck!
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3) Justin’s Beaver.

Duh, this kind of had to go in here. When my allergic-to-celebrity-culture boyfriend told me about this one over lunch yesterday I had to say, what the fuuuuuck?? First of all, he knew more about the whole situation than I did and he don’t give a red cent about all that noise. So, OK, I haven’t read D-listed in ages. For shame. But more importantly: shit! If J Biebs is fucking and admitting to it and so is his Disney girlfriend, I wanna wish good luck to all the parents of borderline wild kids who like tween wave. Also, what’s with the sudden profusion of telling ill equipped teenagers that it’s totally great and amazing to have babies with no abandon? Just babies, babies, babies everywhere! Babies having babies. It’s like a great retweet I saw a few weeks ago: MTV should have a show called “16 and Smart Enough to Get an Abortion.” Yeah. I said it. Also, apparently, Selena Ho-mez ain’t actually got a side-banged bun in her oven.

But if she did, I can only dream it might look like this.

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2) Swamp People on Instant Netflix.

I missed the debut of this show last summer since I haven’t had cable in over a year. But thanks to a few credible recommendations and the power of the intranetz, I now know the wonders of Troy Landry, gator fisherman, patriarch, sage and American hero. Also, I feel well versed in the wonders of short denim overalls with no underwear, runny metal, Big Head, nurp durps a plenty and the laws of the swamp.

For sheer entertainment value and humanizing a part of contemporary American life that is so foreign to most of us, I give this one a huge big up. Get involved.
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1) Alec Baldwin for New York City Mayor.

I don’t even know anything about this one really. Apparently, Mr. Baldwin is looking to take the reins of this our fair city once his run on 30 Rock is over. And frankly, I’m not mad. Just knowing that Alec is a democrat and Adam Maitland makes me want to run out to the polls with bells on, starting now. Also, my reoccurring dream where he is my best friend and mentor doesn’t hurt. But just who will endorse him? We better call this guy Beetlemeyer, or something and find out.

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PVP out! I hope this did something for you, if even just to give you a reprieve from the Tuesday afternoon doldrums. You’re welcome. Look forward to next week’s edition of What Have You Done for Me Lately. I know I am.
xoxo

-Pebbs