So, yeah, maybe this is a little belated. Like a month or so, but I have good reason. And that reason is Roseanne.

You’re probably saying, “Wait, what? Roseanne ended years ago, all the way back in 1997.” Oh yes, but there are some beautiful cable networks that play reruns like nobody’s business. And, just the other day as I was watching one such streak, dreaming of how badly I wanted to find the now out of print DVD version of “She Devil”

all for my little self to have and to own and all of a sudden… GLAMOUR.

All over the screen like the glittery, sequined vomit of an absinthe inebriated unicorn.

Joan fucking Collins in all her ageless amazingness waltzed out onto the screen like the miracle she is.

Then it all came rushing back. All my Joan Collins mental imagery came flooding over me like her sartorial life flashing before my eyes. Joan as cousin Ronnie in this particular Roseanne episode, Joan as the step mother and witch in Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theater presents Hansel & Gretel,

(with the wee Ricky Schroder and Isaac Q. Newton from the Golden Girls - click there for the entire episode, LLIFE changing), Joan as Pearl Slaghoople in the dreadful Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas,

(she was a cunty bright patch), and finally in her most famous role of all, Alexis Carrington Colby on the style equivalent to Citizen Kane, Dynasty.

This woman has been a sex symbol since the day she popped out. She posed for Playboy in her 40s. Her sister is a romance novelist, for toast’s sake. Joan Collins is like the raven haired, British embodiment of Blanche Devereaux. And as we all know, that’s OK by me.

Anyjoancollinspealslaghooplewasbetterthanelizabethtaylorspearlslaghoople, the slightly timely reason for this post is the brand new simply smashing Alexis Bittar ads that are plastered all over construction sites in the city. They star the one and only Ms. Collins and although they went up at the beginning of last month, I was prompted to tell you all about them only now because of that fateful Roseanne episode. I was reminded of Joan Collins’ incredible awesomeness and figured you all needed some images of this beautiful beast of a woman.

Find some more below. All the wayyyy down.

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Also, I wanted to let you all in on a little secret. A little bird, named Dust la Rock, put me on to this amazing gem when I was tweeting about Joan on Roseanne last week. It’s a blog called Third and Delaware and it lists sartorial highlights of each and every Roseanne episode with little comments all along the way. This is a great way to get a giggle going, reminisce about the Conners and step up your 90s fashion game.

So, kiddlets, the moral of the story is: Joan Collins is a silky, ageless icon and the fashion on Roseanne is devoon. Enjoy your day, and keep it fashionable, please.

xoxo

-Pebbles van Peebles

And now… gratuitous Joan Collins flix!!!

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xoxo

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