So as I rolled out of bed Tuesday morning, like I always do, I crawled over to my computer to peruse iTunes because it’s New Music Tuesday, a personal weekly holiday.  HOLY HELL, I was so taken aback by all the new music that I almost couldn’t handle myself–and I managed to get some music that doesn’t come out for a couple of weeks, I’m keeping how I managed that to myself he he. Ranging from Christina Aguilera’s triumphant return with her new album Bionic to Grace Potter and the Nocturnal’s latest self-titled album to (GASP) Uffie’s DEBUT CD Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans.  As I’m sure all of you can imagine, I lost my shiiiit.  Not to mention the premiere of Lady GaGa’s latest video for her summer smash “Alejandro,” which will be covered this coming weekend as I spend my weekend under the Snookin’ Sun of the Jersey Shore in Long Beach Island.

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Not going to bore you all with several full-length reviews, although puh-leeze you know you want it. Instead, I’m going to tell you what to look out for on each album.

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Let’s start with Christina shall we?  Now I really do not understand why she’s getting so much flack for her latest CD Bionic, because there is some good material on the disc, no matter how “unoriginal” it may be… what is originality anyways? KIDDING, duh. Could she have received criticism because it so ironically (or bionically… hehe) debuted the same day as GaGa’s Alejandro video where the Pop universe couldn’t handle and appreciate two blonde starlets simultaneously releasing new material.  Come on, people! Share the love a little, eh? It doesn’t always have to be a Celebrity Deathmatch (REMEMBER that show?! Oh how I miss it).  ANYway, back to X-tina’s latest… Some of my favorite tracks are “Woohoo” featuring the rambunctious Nicki Minaj (PS–check out Lil Kim’s Twitter page for a good laugh at the demise of the former “Queen Bee” of the game).  This song has potential summer status, so fun!  Reminds me of Lil Mama’s “Lip Gloss”… but in a good way, duh.  “Prima Donna” is also a track worthy of downloading and bouncing to, especially for the ladies, this song is definitely for YOU as she sings “I’m a Prima Donna I can rule the world.”  “Elastic Love,” a song that has received mix reviews, was produced and features M.I.A. (PS–who is READY for Maya?!) and while Christina certainly feels out of place in the track, M.I.A. does her best do commandeer a rescue ship to save the electronically-drowning Christina… as best as she can.  Essentially, M.I.A. should have saved this song for her own collection.  Then of course Christina has to break it down with a few empowering ballads.  What’s this album’s “Beautiful,” you ask?  That would have to be “Lift Me Up,” which is very tempered and highlights Christina’s powerhouse vocals.  Sorry to end on a bad note, Christina, but my “Final Thought” a la Jerry Springer for you is that you’re a mother now, sweetheart, it’s time to drop the oversexed act, which can be found in the CD’s raunchy track “Sex for Breakfast.”  I mean COME ON!  Your CHILD does not want to hear about Sex for Breakfast, he just wants his GD Cheerios!!  Peace and Love, Christina, I honestly do like your CD.

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Well, as Jay-Z says, onto the next one!  Up next I’ve got the return of Grace Potter & The Nocturnals with their new self-titled CD.  Starting out on a very ear-grabbing “UH!” this CD certainly packs a punch from beginning to end, keeping me up late at night listening to it over again (get it?! Nocturnal!!).  The guitar is what I am most impressed with from the Vermont-based band’s latest CD as it’s funky in parts and tantalizing elsewhere… just a beautiful combination.  And I GUESS Grace Potter’s gritty, yet pure, vocals don’t hurt either.  Definitely check-out the opening track of the CD “Paris (Ooh La La),” along with “Only Love,” and (since it is time-appropriate) “Hot Summer Night,” which actually isn’t about what you think it is. Check it ouuut.

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Lastly, I give you a familiar face and friend to the Cottontail family.  Yes, Uffie has made her official CD debut.  Well, actually, she WILL make her debut next Tuesday, I just got it a little early to give you bunnies something to look forward to.  While we are all very familiar with certain tracks like “Pop the Glock,” “Ready to Uff,” “MCs Can Kiss,” “First Love,” and “Brand New Car,” there are some BRAND NEW tracks worth anticipating.  One of her more recent popular singles, “ADD SUV,” which features Pharrell is always a personal favorite of mine.  What’s even better is that if you buy the iTunes Deluxe Edition you get the Armand Van Helden Vocal Mix of the track, which is a dope remix, definitely worth the extra few bucks for the DeluXXX.  The original, catchy, and authentically hilarious Uffie can finally regain the genre that Ke$ha (I’m not bolding her name for a reason) so horrendously tarnished with her much-anticipated debut CD.  This is why Uffie is superior to everyone’s favorite love-to-hate musician (term used very loosely) Ke$ha, because Ke$ha can quickly pump out a CD, while Uffie has been releasing tracks for years now, yet waited for the prime time to release her full-length debut.  The beats are inventive and playful next to Uffie’s vocal versatility where she switches from her light-as-a-feather vocals, as heard in “Give It Away,” to her hard, lamenting tone, as heard in “MCs Can Kiss.”  So many of us have been looking forward to this release, and trust me, it is WORTH THE WAIT!!

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Phew, I don’t know about you but I am EXHAUSTED.  JERSEY SHORE HERE I COME.

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Talk to ya’ll later bunnies! Stay tuned for Ale-ale-jandro review!

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-xoxo-

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Ryan Rabbit

(Follow Me!)