Konichiwa bitches!  I’ve had to let this experience sink in for a few days before I could even try to write a review about it.  That’s right, I’m talking about Robyn & Kelis’ All Hearts Tour.  The show took place at Webster Hall on the night of Thursday, August 5th, which was the second show they put on there due to a quick ticket sell-out for their first show.  Beginning at 6 PM, Far East Movement took the stage and then followed by budding star Dan Black.  I unfortunately did not make it out in time to catch these opening acts, but c’mon, let’s be real, a concert starting at six?  I got things to do!  Anyway I’m sure Far East Movement was a crazy smash, after seeing them at Bamboozle when they performed before Roxy took the stage.  And there’s a ton of buzz around Dan Black, so I’m sure he was fantastic as well.

Moving on to what I DID see…

Yes, bunnies, that is Kelis donned in a shimmery black wig reminiscent of Whitney Houston’s wig featured in The Bodyguard… Oh, by the way, watched that movie for the first time last night, I miss normal, lucid Whitney.  Anyway, Kelis looked BANGIN’ in a blue spandex jumpsuit… I could hear Nas slapping himself during the entire set, boy made a mistake!  She mainly performed songs from her latest album, Flesh Tone, which has moved her into a new genre for the artist, Dance/Electronica.  However, once you thought you were only going to here songs from the album, suddenly the beat to Madonna’s “Holiday” begins–oh just you wait–she then goes into singing “Milkshake,” over the beat, which then progresses into a jam out to Major Lazer’s “Pon de Floor.”  I seriously thought the floor was going to Pon de COLLAPSE.  Amazeballs.  The entire set was an orgasm for the eye as the lights went crazy with colors, flashes, and brilliance.  And to close it off, she then performed her debut single “Acapella,” and it was clear, the crowd was definitely feeling the newly reinvented artist.

Ugh. Just Ugh.  How I WISH it could be Thursday night every minute of my life. Seriously, it was that amazing. Standing at 5 foot, 3 inches, this tiny Swedish star is a BALL OF FIRE, and I’m in love. First, her musicians took the stage, dressed all in white/science lab attire, making the stage an electronic laboratory of experimental, brilliant music.  She opened with two tracks off her most recent CD, Body Talk Pt. 1, namely “Fembot,” and “Cry When You Get Older.”  After those two tracks, it was very apparent, this is not a concert, this is a dance/love/bliss-fest where at the end of each song, Robyn would continue the beats to dance and prance around stage.  Oh, and her DANCE MOVES… after the concert I went to a bar with a couple of my friends and we honestly took to the dance floor with the intention of emulating her moves and grooves. Lord, I can only imagine the hilarity for the bystanders watching us, but I do not care, the night was magical!

Oh, can I tell you? In the middle of the concert, she performed her single off Body Talk Pt. 1, “Don’t Fucking Tell Me What To Do,” and had a backtrack sing the vocals for her while she stood staring at the audience eating a banana with a look that screamed “Don’t Fucking Tell Me What To Do.” Fierce, absolutely fierce.

Robyn, as a performer, was incredibly grateful the entire concert as she would frequently pause and hold her heart in between her songs and just look into the crowd with so much affection and gratitude.  ALL the HEARTS were pumping juices and pulsating for the blonde superstar, which culminated after the closing song “With Every Heartbeat,” where she lifted up her hands in the shape of a heart, only prompting all the concert-goers to emulate her.  A beautiful closing to a beautiful concert…

So, thank you Robyn, je t’adore, and I cannot wait to see your triumphant return to the States.

Stay tuned for a review on her new disc, Body Talk Pt. 2, which is due out in September, but you know I already copped it.

-xoxo-